


Tell me you love me

by HJ1



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Anti monitor, F/F, I don’t know much about the Flash universe so ignore the logic, Kara doesnt know she’s gay for Lena, Lena is heartbroken for a while, Minor Barry Allen, Pardon any spelling/orthographic mistakes etc., Post Reveal, Some crossover events, Wrote this before the season 5 trailer was released, crossover happens before they talk things through, lena knows kara is supergirl and kara knows that lena knows, minor Brainy, you are welcome to point them out for edits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 11:47:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20096749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HJ1/pseuds/HJ1
Summary: Post reveal. Lena knows the truth about Supergirl and struggles to deal (Kara knows that Lena knows) but before they can really talk about it the Anti-Monitor shows up to destroy the world. Will Kara come to understand her own feelings before it’s too late?





	Tell me you love me

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Et tu, Kara?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19095841) by [UselessLesbianLaughter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UselessLesbianLaughter/pseuds/UselessLesbianLaughter). 

> Inspired by the work that I’ve linked to. I like to imagine that that was the first confrontation between them (minus the kiss) and this fic is after that. Kudos to the author for great work!

She was falling at 100,000 feet straight into the ocean off the coast of National City. It was the result of yet another attempt at her life. What was this, the 23rd time? She'd lost count a while ago, though technically they hadn't tried to kill her yet this time around. She didn't even bother asking the kidnappers who they were or what they wanted. And she'd tried, she really had and almost succeeded in not counting on Supergirl, or should she say Kara, to save her from that plane she was held in on the way to some unknown location. She'd used her own witts and abilities to steal a parachute, open the exit door and was so close to jumping off safe and sound but of course, something had to go wrong. One of the kidnappers had cut into the parachute bag and rendered the whole kit useless right before she had fallen out, or had been sucked out more like it, from the plane. The kidnappers had sped off quickly since trying to save her was probably more trouble than not.

And there she was right now. Falling. No parachute, no safety net to catch her. Technically. 

She was falling face down. No tumble or turns like Alice into Wonderland, just free falling straight down, the wind blowing in her face, her hair flying upwards. It didn't actually feel like falling. Though she could see everything get nearer, she felt as though she was floating, in the same way that being underwater does. It would take about 2 minutes to hit any surface when falling from 100,000 feet and she'd lost about half that time now. In spite of the very evident danger she was currently in, she couldn't help but feel calm. She wanted to panic, she wanted to make herself feel scared. She would plummet to her death in a matter of seconds if nothing stopped her. But in the back of her head, she did in fact have a safety net, and she knew it. Supergirl … or Kara. (She wasn't sure what to call her anymore.) She hated it the moment she'd realized how dependent she was on the girl of steel to save her. She didn't even know if Supergirl knew she was in danger or not but still, she couldn't help but feel she would save her just in time, no matter what. Even when it meant endangering others in some cases, like the chemicals on the plane that one time. Lena wondered how many other people were likely to have been in need of help all those times. But instead of them, Supergirl had come to her aid. She felt important, in general but also to Supergirl, the savior, (Kara was another matter). It was a swift moment of inflated ego before she would take a pin at the balloon. Was she really worth all that saving? Despite all the good she tried to do, her family and name never failed to catch up and take a wrecking ball to all her work. And all the monsters under her bed and in the closet that she feared as a child and teen would come for her and eat her alive like she'd imagined. Perhaps the world would have been better off long ago if the girl of steel had not saved her the first time or every time after that. 

She was close to the end now. She tried closing her eyes to feel a little peace. She hoped for a moment that she would just slam into the ocean surface and let the water take her and at least she'd be wrong about Supergirl always coming to save her. She wasn't sure what she'd gain from that, being dead and all, but her anger made her irrational at times. 

Her heart began racing a little as she drew closer to the water. It was closer than she liked and she wanted to roll her eyes at herself for thinking that Supergirl had taken too long to save her. She clenched her jaw. She hated herself for being that damn dependent on Supergirl. She hated herself in general. This was just a recent addition to the list of reasons why. 

And then she saw her coming. A speeding object from the city center, leaving a trail in the sky on her way. She was coming straight at her at a great speed, both fists in front of her for greater thrust as Lena had noticed she would do. And as predicted, she caught her just in time. Supergirl had curved down to rise up and carry her with both arms around Lena's torso, flying gently back up. 

She held onto Kara but tried not to clutch too hard. They weren't on good terms and she felt tense as she looked around while Kara looked up as she flew them further from the water. Lena wasn't sure where to look at but she couldn't bring herself to simply look upon the girl the entire time they flew, especially not at such proximity. 

"Wait", Lena yelled slightly. 

Kara slowed down and then came to halt midair.

Lena was forced to stare directly now. What had she asked her to wait for exactly?

Kara gazed upon Lena as if awaiting instructions.

"How did you know I was here, in danger?" She could have waited until reaching land but apparently she was going to ask right now, floating over a body of water, pressed against the girl of steel. 

Kara looked away for a short moment, a bit shy, almost unwilling to answer. That was unusual for the girl of steel, it was more of a thing Kara would do but they were one in the same as Lena had to remind herself. She was conflicted when trying to separate them and even more conflicted when trying to reconcile them as one.

"I check on you sometimes," the girl in the cape replied. "You weren't at your office and … when I listened for your heartbeat the sound came from the middle of nowhere and I couldn't hear a boat or a plane close enough, so I knew" she explained simply. 

Lena's eyes widened. Those two sentences completely threw her off guard though she hid her emotions as best she could. There was so much to deconstruct. Supergirl checked in on her? Well, Kara did she supposed. That was expected, normal up until the fallout. She could just pass by her office. (At this point, she didn't even like that she expected Kara to check on her either.) But that was not as shocking as the rest of it. She had listened for her heartbeat? How did she know how it sounded? How could she possibly focus on that among the millions in National City unless she had heard it before enough times to memorize it and be able to hear out particularly for hers? Could one even memorize someone's heartbeat and recognize them solely through that? Maybe Kryptonians could. Apparently Supergirl could. How many times had she listened to her heartbeat in order to memorize it? In what occasions? For what purpose? And then the last thing she noted, purely out of fascination, and less relevant to herself was the magnificence of Supergirl's power; the range of it. She realized afterwards that there was no need to yell at her to wait while being so close to her, but that wasn't important. 

Lena spoke at last, "you..r powers are incredible". The compliment was almost detached from Supergirl as a person. She couldn't bare to compliment her so she chose to compliment her powers, which Kara had no say in, rather than compliment her as a whole. 

Kara smiled slightly, like she'd heard that a dozen times before but didn't want to show off. Of course her powers were incredible. Lena knew they were. Everyone did. It was not a revelation but sometimes Lena was just struck by their magnificence. 

"Thank you, M–" Kara cut herself off. She called her Ms. Luthor when she was Supergirl but there was no point in that anymore since everything had come out. "I'll take you back to your office" she added. Kara kept her left arm around Lena and then tilt her slightly to the side so she could use her other arm to carry her from beneath her knees; bridal carry was the most comfortable way to take her all the way back. Lena did not complain. That was a little better than having to look directly at her face, but it was almost too comfortable as a position. 

Kara landed on Lena's balcony not long after. She put her down. Lena thanked her in an almost whisper, and the girl of steel quietly flew off. 

Yep, things really were tense ever since the reveal. After Lex had told her the truth it hadn’t taken long before confronting Kara but there hadn’t been much real talking done. Nothing to really deal with it the way her therapist would tell her to. She hadn’t even gone to her therapist in a long while. Lena thought that reveal was too much to deal with, but that was a personal matter. All hell would break loose with the whole world soon after. 

*************

Screams, car alarms, abandoned food carts and panic. Pure chaos everywhere. A storm was coming from the ocean on the verge of sucking National City into eternal darkness or something like it. Nothing could beat the Anti-Monitor (AM) it seemed. He was too strong for The Arrow, Batgirl, the Flash, Brainiac, the Martian Man-hunter, Superman and Supergirl combined. Several worlds had already been sucked into his death Vortex which fueled him and this one was next if they didn't do something about it. But the heroes had been fighting non-stop, they were exhausted, and hurt. Oliver was bleeding through his suit, Batgirl and the Martian were badly injured but still helping Oliver and others to safety. Superman was taking on the Anti-Monitor by himself at the moment simply to stall him. He wasn't making much of a difference though. The AM's suit had kryptonite right at its center and both the supers couldn't get hits strong enough whenever they got close. Meanwhile, James and Dreamer were evacuating the city with the help of the DEO, but that didn't matter if they couldn't defeat the Anti-Monitor. This world as they knew it would end, not just National City. But he was just too strong. 

Kara was reaching her limit, she could barely stand. She was the only one that had managed to make a dent in the AM's seemingly impenetrable armor. And at this point, even she was bleeding, but she kept going and flew to her cousin's side.

Lena had been trying to think of something with Alex on communication devices contributing with what she knew about the situation or Supergirl that could help them. There had to be a way to give their side an advantage. There had to be a way to win. Lena would try almost anything at this point. She was trying to put every piece of information she knew to good use. She watched helplessly from her office building as Supergirl and Superman fought together. They looked similar at a distance. And then she recalled something. Something that could be turned into a working idea. The Harun-El. It had split Supergirl in two and if it did the same to every Kryptonian that came into contact with it as she knew it had done so far, then she could make two of Supergirl and Superman. And on top of that, she could use the Harun-El to make every human super at least for a short while. The Anti-Monitor was strong, but was he stronger than that many supers coming at him at once? In the very least, the harun-el could split the two Kryptonians and that could buy them more time to figure something else out. She even considered using the Harun-El on every willing DEO agent. They were trained agents after all. 

She knew it was risky to inject humans with it and to create two more supers especially not knowing how the other one would come out. Knowing what she did about Red Daughter, which was that she apparently had no memory when she first appeared in Kaznia, that would most likely mean the new Superman would be a clean slate. She didn't even know if splitting Supergirl would bring back Red Daughter or another mind-wiped Supergirl. So there would be complications but there wasn't any time left. This was at least a plan. More than anything they had so far. 

She rushed down to her lab and got some of the Harun-El she had manufactured. She had a bit of stock left from her superhuman experiments. She was close to sending it to a far away storage facility of her own after many failed trials and putting James in danger, but she was grateful she had not. It wasn't a large supply but it would have to be enough. She tried to contact everyone to get her idea into work as fast as possible. Ideally, all the heroes would gather in her lab and she'd inject them with the Harun-El, but they were all too busy, too injured, too scattered around to get organized. And the communication devices were failing due to cell towers being down. She immediately thought of a faster way. She'd shoot them with it. She could reconfigure a gun or any weapon and Alex could make her way to them and take the shot from a distance. Lena had a medical gun and the liquidized harun-el but she needed something with longer range. She had a whole vault with crazy things and weapons, and she had her genius brain, so she got to work. It took her less than 10 minutes to create a weapon with medium level range to shoot a harun-el dart so to speak. She packed the rest of the material and started back up to where she could contact Alex. 

However, as she reached the first floor, the elevator malfunctioned. She would try the regular ones rather than her own personal one because taking the stairs that many levels up in her heels was a no no. Just then, Supergirl crashed into the building. She supposed this was as good a time as any to test her plan. She called out for her but in the middle of everything she didn't hear Lena.

The brunette ran towards the girl of steel, who was trying to raise herself from the floor, and just as she was about to fly off back into the fight, Lena shot the dart directly at her. She hadn't planned on shooting the supers originally. The darts were for non-kryptonians as she knew that Kryptonians need only come into contact with the Harun-El for it to split them but time constraints made her react quickly. 

She didn't know if she got her or missed and she didn't have time to find out. Supergirl was gone back into the fight. 

Lena took her things and again started back up. The other elevator malfunctioned too as she made it to the 20th floor. I guess she couldn’t skip on taking the stairs this time. She could take them the few floors left and as she ran towards them, she witnessed the girl of steel being punched off far into another building. No double in sight yet. And she wasn't sure how many more hits the girl of steel could take before she’d bend or break. 

After what felt like forever, she reached her office. She found Alex, Brainy, Flash and Supergirl gathered round and seemingly ready to enact a plan. That was fast, Lena thought. Kara looked a lot better and she had recovered rather quickly from that blow and all the ones before. Perhaps the Harun-El had worked differently than expected. Perhaps an injection had managed to allow containment in one body as opposed to a split. And perhaps the containment had augmented her powers, allowing for a quick recovery. 

She was about to ask if she felt differently, if it had worked. Had she gotten stronger? Had anything happened at all? But everyone looked worried. "What's going on?" She asked instead. 

Alex responded, hands on hips, "Barry thinks he has a plan but he is not going to go through with it because I'm not signing off on this". 

Brainy carried on, "Studying everything we know about the Anti-Monitor and all the historical records I possess, I have identified a point in time in another universe in which there is a 68.3% chance that the Anti-Monitor has not yet began his plan and has not absorbed a single world. If Barry can run fast enough creating a speed vortex, he can travel back in time into another universe and go to this particular point in time and place and identify his weakness, then absorb the energy from the speed vortex before it closes and returning, helping us stop him here right now. And, before you suggest Barry finish the job in the past, note that there is only one Anti-Monitor in the many different Earths and universes that exist, unlike for the rest of us, and thus Barry cannot attempt to defeat him in the past. I must remind everyone of the importance of not tampering with timelines in order to avoid breaking the space-time Continuum." His words sounded cold, but Brainy was everything but. His eyes were sad, he looked as exhausted as everyone else. 

"What's the catch?" Lena asked. So there was a chance that they could beat him, but Lena wouldn't let herself take a sigh of relief. Something was off. 

"Barry would die", Alex responded. "And that's not an option. He's not doing it."

"There is a 100% chance that he will die attempting to create the vortex due to the amount of energy it requires, rendering the whole attempt useless as I have stated," commented Brainy. 

"He's definitely not doing it," Alex insisted. 

"Alex, I have to try,'' stated Barry.

"There is another way, or rather the same way but with a reduced chance of death... for Barry," Brainy added. 

They all turned to him and waited impatiently for the answer. 

"If Supergirl could fly with him, as fast as she could, they could create a speed vortex together with their speed energy combined".

"So Barry could survive the time travel and Supergirl could go with him. Problem solved," concluded Lena. "Right?" She asked in frustration. She didn't want to think any more. She felt like she had a hammer pounding on her head from the inside. She just wanted someone to say 'Right!' and everything would work out. 

"It's not that simple," stated Brainy.

"Brainy, tell us," pressed Alex. 

"The speed vortex is like a black hole that only speedsters can travel through. Supergirl could help Barry create it, however she would… disintegrate as she creates it and inevitably goes through it," he explained slowly.

Lena felt like she had been punched in the gut ten times over. The hell with that. She was not letting her do that. Absolutely fucking not. 

"No!" She and Alex cried out in unison. She thought they'd try almost anything. Almost. Certainly not this. Not death for God's sake. 

Supergirl was quiet. Standing there simply listening. Why wasn't she speaking? This was the time to say something, to say no.

"Okay, I'll do it," Supergirl sternly answered after a very short moment of silence. 

"What?" Again, Alex and Lena spoke at once. 

"Kara, you can't!" Alex proclaimed, her eyebrows furrowed as she stepped closer to her sister.

"It's literal suicide!" added Lena with a look of disbelief upon her face. She wasn't serious. She was not going to kill herself… to save the world. She sighed internally. That's exactly what Supergirl would do. She just never thought of it as something Kara would do. How could a human be that selfless? It was impossible. But Kara of course, wasn't human. She was Supergirl and she’d be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for everyone else. 

"May I speak with Lena for a moment please," Supergirl requested calmly as she walked into the hall knowing Lena would follow. 

"Have you completely lost your mind?" Lena chased her into the hallway, "You can't do this. I know that we're not in the best place right now but that doesn't mean I'm okay with you dying. You were my best friend and you betrayed me, I'm allowed to be upset but you doing this is insanity!" She rambled. She was making it all so personal, she knew. This wasn't about the two of them. It was about the world and she was complaining about nonsense. Their trifle was a spec of dust compared to the real problem right now, but she was full blown panicking at the thought of Kara actually carrying this through. 

She could think of something else if she had time. Lex was right, he was always right; she was not good enough. It was her fault if Supergirl died before she could think of something else to convince them not to do this, but they currently had no alternatives that they knew. She would tell Kara her plan and then tell the rest of the Harun-El. "Listen I've been thinking about the Harun-el and I think I could double our odds…" she began trying to explain and hope Supergirl's resolve would falter but the blonde just gazed at her softly. They were standing close to one another and she had not realized until Kara reached her hand and cupped Lena's jaw, interrupting her train of speech. 

The girl of steel leaned in and gently placed her lips on hers. Lena stood paralized. Eyes open. Then Kara kissed her again. Lena closed her eyes and let herself feel the moment. The girl of steel's lips were as soft as anyone else's, softer even. She kissed her once more and this time Lena leaned slightly forward and her lips moved in response. A wave rushed through her whole body right before their lips parted. She looked at Lena with great kindness and smiled. Then, Kara turned around and walked back into the office. Lena stood in the hall, frozen in her place. 

Kara headed straight to talk to Alex and they both automatically moved to a corner to get some privacy. Brainy and Barry moved to the opposite corner out of respect. 

"Kara, please let's talk about this. We can find another way," Alex pleaded. "Lena will think of-" 

"I have to do this. It doesn't look like there's another way. Everything is going to be okay, Alex," said Supergirl. 

Alex knew she couldn't convince her. This was her purpose. In the back of her mind, she always hoped this day would never come, she dreaded it, she imagined it was impossible that something really could kill the girl of steel for ever. She hoped Kara would find her way back to her like she always did. But that didn't mean she wasn't going to try and stop her. 

"Kara please," she spoke with tears in her eyes. 

"You were always my Alex", said the girl of steel as she looked to Barry and gave him a nod. 

Alex was confounded but before she had time to react, Kara and Barry were gone. 

Lena walked back into the room, she couldn't process a thing that had just happened. She didn't know why Kara had just kissed her, but right now she needed to stop her from leaving. But just as quickly as she saw her, Kara was gone, only the wind left in her place. 

Alex was in tears and Lena was on the verge of them but years of repression had taught her to hold her feelings in until she was alone. 

Kara...

No...

"Wait! Stop them!" She pleaded. "I have a plan."

But it was too late. It didn't take long afterwards. The other heroes were fighting as hard as they could and then in less than a minute a flash of light reappeared as Barry returned and the AM was thrust back in a powerful hit from him. His suit finally cracked slightly where Supergirl had left a dent, right at the center, which held the kryptonite. Barry yelled something and then Oliver prepped an arrow and shot it. A flash of light appeared around it as Barry sped to it and gave the arrow as much thrust as possible using the power he had absorbed from the speed vortex. The arrow penetrated the armor enough to break the kryptonite rock in its center and as it did Superman flew directly in and landed a punch on his chest with as much force as he had left in him. The whole suit broke off and the AM was slammed directly into the pavement, making a crater in the Earth too deep to see from a distance what was in it. Superman flew down to take a look and there lay the villain, defeated at last. His armour had been his strength but it had a weak point and Barry had discovered it. 

Superman turned around. As if looking for someone. Barry appeared by his side. 

Lena could only see them from where she stood in her building. Too far to hear. She saw Barry place his hand on Superman's shoulder and speak to him. And then the man of steel looked down and fell to his knees. 

It was done. She was gone. 

Lena was crushed, she lost all air in her lungs. Despite what Brainy had said she still had hope she'd reappear, but alas, she had not. 

Supergirl was gone. Kara was gone. 

The storm disappeared and the black hole cut off, also vanishing. The whole sky had been dark until then and as it cleared up, Lena realized it was almost sunrise. Alex was next to her, crying. A tear fell down Brainy's eyes. "She saved us all," he stated with a crack in his voice. 

Alex walked off, wanting to be left alone. And Brainiac turned to Lena. Lena was furious as she made her way to him.

"Why did you tell them to do that? I had thought of something! They could have lived! With the Harun-el I could have…" she was out of breath from the shock. She breathed in harshly. The air felt like water entering her lungs, it wheezed into her. "You killed her!" she lashed out at him.

"Without knowing his weakness, we could not have defeated him. He would have taken this world by the time-" Brainy spoke but Lena interrupted. 

"No, your method only served to get her killed. You killed the only truly good person in this city!" she cried out as she moved past him, needing to get out before passing out.

"This had to happen," Brainiac stated. The future is as it will always be." 

Lena stared back at him only to show her resentment. She clenched her jaw, and gave him her back, storming out. 

The elevator actually worked as she called it up, pressing the button several times over. Her legs shook as she entered it. She breathed in and out quickly as it made its way down. The elevator felt like it was spinning, tightening, and she cornered herself and used her hands to keep her balance. When it reached the first floor she rushed all the way out, stumbling on her heels. She looked around, up and down. She closed her eyes hard and told herself to hold it in. Boxes. Little boxes. She took one more breath in and then got some awareness back. She walked back home. Barefoot. There was no one to take her. The streets were closed off by abandoned cars anyway. No one could fly her to her apartment. 

She held her tears in the entire way back. She walked through her door and reached her bed. The hell with boxes. They couldn't contain this. The water poured down her eyes in rivers. 

The sun hit her room directly as it finished rising. It blinded her. She was exhausted. Her body felt too heavy for her. She had a migraine and the tears wouldn't stop. The sun only reminded her of Supergirl and how if she had even survived the vortex, no matter how bad in shape she could have healed with the sun. Lena jumped to her windows and drew the blinds in a furry, closing them entirely. She fell back on her bed and her eyes closed off on their own.

*******

She awoke the next day by her alarm, hoping it was only a nightmare, but everything was as she had left it a couple hours earlier. She was still in her clothes from the day before. Her phone was ringing from her bag all the way by the entrance, but everything was so quiet outside that she could hear it even in her room. She forced herself out of bed and turned the alarm off. Her whole body ached. You'd think she was the one that had taken the hits instead of Supergirl. 

Supergirl…

Kara ...

The girl of steel was gone because she had sacrificed herself for everyone. It was a selfless act, but all Lena could think of was how selfish it had been. How dare she just decide to do that right now? They were still at odds, how dare she die before they resolve things? How dare she leave her like that with a kiss that made everything even more complicated and then go off and die? It was even hard for her to fathom that it wasn't just Supergirl, it was Kara. She would never see Kara again. She wasn't even sure who kissed her good-bye. Kara or Supergirl? She was struggling so much to join the two people in one and right now, she really wanted them to be two different people. At least she'd still have one of them. But she had no one. And this time it was for good. Being angry at Kara and not wanting to see her was one thing, but not being able to was another completely. 

And then there was that kiss. It had been so unexpected. So tender and soft. 

As she pushed herself to get ready for work to make sure her company wasn't falling apart and to care for all the other things that needed L Corp's support, Lena overthought that kiss. She couldn’t process it at all. Did Kara think of her romantically? 

Lena had thought about both Supergirl and Kara in a romantic way before. She'd tried to brush it away from her mind when it was regarding Kara. Kara was her friend and having those thoughts about her torture if she couldn’t act on them. She didn't even know if Kara was bisexual. Nothing of the sort had ever been brought up. Not even regarding her. Lena might have mentioned a woman in college but she hadn't said it in a way that was romantic so to speak, but she hadn't said it in a way that was completely platonic either. And despite all the flirtation and what she could swear was Kara blushing at it, Kara never said anything so that was that. But it was another thing with Supergirl when it came to her thoughts. Lena allowed herself the liberty of thinking of Supergirl as she wanted. With those biceps, that powerful stance, that strength and confidence. She couldn't help but have thoughts about her and she felt it was near impossible that Supergirl be straight. And Lena had been flirtatious of course. She was always on the verge of asking her out but something always came up. Like when Supergirl kept coming through the balcony rather than the door. She'd casually joked that it wasn't an entrance, and she was about to add that she was welcome to try visiting her through an actual door, that weekend, at her apartment. But that time something with her mother had come up and well, that was a touchy subject which had ruined the moment. 

She had given her those ideas regarding Supergirl a lot of time. They usually involved Supergirl coming home to her apartment, and Lena gently taking her cape off, kissing her neck, undressing her from that suit and feeling her beautifully sculpted abs along with the rest of her. She imagined tracing her fingers down her arms, squeezing her biceps. She tried to imagine what the girl of steel wore underneath that crest. Lace? Or a regular bra? Sports bra? Seamless panties? Boxers? Anyway, it didn't matter that much when Lena's thoughts always gravitated to taking it all off regardless. The thought was incredibly arousing, jumping on to Supergirl knowing she could carry her with no effort at all, hoping she would push her against a wall or pull her against her own lean, fit figure. And Lena would pass her fingers through the Supergirl's hair, she'd move it out of the way and kiss her. And the girl of steel would make love to her over and over in every dream. 

She'd had less dreams about James and even when with him she'd still thought about Supergirl, that never stopped. Sometimes she thought about whether Supergirl could sleep with a human without hurting them. She figured it was definitely possible since she'd saved Lena and many other humans and as far as she'd known, no one had ever been crushed to death by her hands. She could definitely control herself, but was it difficult? How much effort did it take? It had to be a little hard never losing control. But Lena would deal with the kryptonian her own way. She was a genius after all. Her solution: red sunlight. In her not-so-spare time she had already created some red sunlight lamps. (Supergirl would not have reacted well to that and Lena wouldn’t know how to explain it -not that she had to explain herself- but if the lamps came in handy for whatever reason then Lena would feel justified.) She'd create a whole room with red sunlight. She imagined she’d equip her own bedroom with them of course. And then the girl of steel would be just a girl, and she wouldn't have to worry about hurting Lena. She imagined that would be something Supergirl would worry about if they were a thing. She had to admit, even if just to herself, that she thought of them together at least every time she was saved by the girl of steel or she saw her in the news saving someone. Often. Very often. Even if just as a casual and mutually beneficial relationship. 

But then of course several events had happened that had hurt Lena and changed her view on Supergirl. She had felt betrayed by her and she'd decided completely and satisfactorily not to pursue anything further. This idea stood even when they'd mended their relationship. Lena still had dirty thoughts about her, how could she not? But as far as a relationship, that was madness after a certain point. She wasn't even going to try. It sounded crazy when she thought of it. A Luthor and a Super, not just working together, but being together. Now that was… unlikely.

Then came Kara. After those moments where Supergirl would save her, the only thing that would distract her from the trauma of the event would be a fantasy of coming home to Kara. It was much less casual, much more serious. Lena had felt safest and most cared for when Kara had promised to always protect her and be her friend. That was a big promise to make to a Luthor. No one else would dare, no one but Kara. She had befriended her and since then Kara had always had her back. She'd saved her too. With the pen rather than the cape, with all her articles about her and coming to her defense when the world seemed against her. It was Kara that had made her see the importance of free press, of investigative journalism and the positive impact of an honest article as opposed to the ones that she'd been accustomed to her entire life. Luthors were not fond of the press but Kara had changed that for Lena. And this had been the key reason she had bought Catco; to keep the press free from the grip of someone who would destroy everything Kara stood for, someone like Morgan Edge. What a repulsive man. She recalled the time that Kara had walked out of her office just for Supergirl to come in seconds later. Lena had felt so powerful in that moment. It felt good for Edge to know that Lena had an army behind her; a one-girl-of-steel army. Kara had been there for her always. Supergirl was there for the heavy lifting. Kara was there for all the emotional times she needed her. 

With regards to romance, she had tried with Kara. As indirectly direct as possible. She flirted but didn't get enough reciprocation to move forward. Filling someone's office with flowers wasn't a big enough clue that you were into them apparently. At first, dating her sounded impossible but with some meetings she felt like asking her out. But as their friendship grew stronger, Lena was still learning what it was like to be friends, what it meant to have people support you always without expecting something in return. And then Kara pushing her to date James was one of the many indicators that Kara did not feel the same. So she gave up on the idea of the adorable, dorky, and determined reporter as her partner. Kara was not into her, or so she thought. 

After the reveal, everything had turned into a complete mess. Supergirl and Kara were one. Everything Supergirl had done wrong, every act of betrayal had come from Kara. But then every act of kindness and every act of saving from Supergirl had actually been by Kara. How was she supposed to take all that in? She tried to weigh every act from both of them to take a decision. Kara had made her feel part of a family and Supergirl had saved her many times. But lying to her about her identity on top of other acts of betrayal from her friend was almost unforgivable. At least it had felt like it until she had kissed her and even more so when Superg– Kara had died. She didn’t know how to feel now. It was just sadness and pain. 

After a forced shower, Lena sat by her kitchen table trying her best to push herself out the door, but it was all so overwhelming. Her phone had been ringing non-stop since she had jumped in the shower that she had turned it off. She had to charge it anyway. She didn't want to go and deal with all that right now. She was no longer Lena Luthor, the genius with a remarkable poker face that could pull herself together, pretend everything was fine and get back to work. Not after all this. Not after losing Kara. 

At the corner of her eye, something flew by her window and she turned swiftly to see it, her heart racing as she stood from the counter and rushed to the balcony. She searched and waited. Then she sighed and looked down. It must have been a bird.

"Lena," she heard softly. 

She looked up again. 

Her eyes widened, her lips parted and she took a breath in before running to hug the blonde.

"Kara! Thank God you're okay! I thought you were dead!" She exclaimed as she embraced her strongly. 

"Hey, I'm okay," Kara said as she hugged her back, her strong arms wrapped tightly around Lena. They stood there in silence long enough for Lena to make sure it was real. Kara respected the moment and remained quiet, hugging her back, her chin resting on her shoulder, feeling Lena’s heartbeat return to normal. Then the brunette spoke. 

"Don't ever do something like that again, don't just … do that and leave," she stuttered, "we need to talk about ...that but first, how are you alive?" She pulled away reluctantly but necessarily so as to get an answer. 

"It wasn't me," Kara spoke softly, "Last thing I remember was the Anti-Monitor punching me off and then I woke up after the sun healed me and he was gone. I already called Alex and it seems that I was split into two again. And it was Red Daughter that saved us and it's her that's… gone" she explained.

Lena blinked several times in shock, processing this information. "It wasn't you, it was Red Daughter," she repeated mostly to herself as if to make herself believe it as she walked around the balcony. Thank goodness for the freaking Harun-El.

"I don't know how," Kara said, trying to make sense of it all. 

"It was me. I injected you with Harun-el in an attempt to split you and doubling our odds against the Anti-Monitor," Lena explained. "I didn't have a chance to tell anyone before you… Red Daughter, left to enact that ridiculous and suicidal plan." 

"Oh. Well that explains everything," Kara spoke as she understood it all. Lena had saved her. She always did when Kara couldn’t save herself. The blonde smiled, then pursed her lips as she remembered their current state of friendship, which she could barely call that. "Look, I know that we weren't okay before everything and I don't expect you to just forgive me, but obviously it was important for me that you know that I'm okay."

"So when she died you absorbed her right? I mean she is part of you," Lena interrupted. Ignoring the last thing spoken by the blonde. 

"Um, yes, I suppose she is. It's how I knew the first time that there was good in her despite Lex's manipulations." Kara responded. 

"So you don't remember anything that she did?" Lena asked as she walked close to her again. 

"No," she answered simply, an eyebrow raised. 

"But you're the same. Technically, I mean she's you but with different memory?" Lena pressed. This was important right now. Kara was okay. Processed. Harun-el had worked. Processed. Red Daughter, inherently part of Kara but not Kara had kissed her. Sort of Processed. Lex must have told Red Daughter about her and she must have studied Kara and Lena. But did Kara feel the same as Red Daughter, or more like, did Red Daughter feel the same as Kara? She needed answers. 

"I'm not sure," Kara answered. She shook her head slightly as if to re-focus "Also, I wanted to come and say that I should have told you before, about me. You can trust me Lena. And I should have told you that I'm sorry." 

Lena stayed quiet. Facing away from Kara. 

"Lena?" The blonde inquired. 

"I want the truth. All of it. Will you trust me now?" Lena stated and turned to face her as her emotions jumbled but she remembered how she had felt before the almost end of the world: the betrayal. Forgiveness wasn't that easy for her. 

"Lena I do trust you, it wasn't about that. If I could prove it to you I would. I'll do anything not to lose you," Kara pleaded. 

"Okay, like I said. I want the truth. But I want it my way," Lena crossed her arms and clenched her jaw while she turned back to face her. She was trying to look a little calm and in control even though she was everything but. Something had occurred to her. 

"Okay," Kara conceded immediately. 

"Are you busy now?" Lena asked. 

"No, how can I prove it to you?" The blonde asked genuinely. 

"My lab, let's go." 

Kara flew them in immediately. Lena tried to ignore the proximity, though in truth she relished it. 

"Okay, sit down please," Lena pointed at a chair when they walked in, then turned around and walked to her safe, opened it, stepped in and brought something out.

"The Vertullarian," Kara noted.

"Yes. It's the truth seeker. If you want to prove to me that you trust me this is the way. And if you're planning on saying the truth like you claim then you have nothing to worry about," Lena stated as she pulled it out. She sounded so calculated but in reality she was trying to hide the trembling, the exhaustion, the shock, confusion, and everything else. 

Kara's lip twitched in nervousness but then she raised her arm in concession. "Okay, hook me up."

The creature took hold of her arm quickly as the brunette opened the container into her arm. 

Lena thought for a moment of how to start. "What is your story?" She asked after a short pause. 

The blonde breathed out. That was an easy one. It wasn't so easy to tell but she knew it well, so she began. "When I was a child, my planet Krypton was dying. I was sent to Earth to protect my cousin. But my pod got knocked off course into the Phantom Zone where time doesn't pass and by the time I got here my baby cousin had already grown up and become Superman. I was twelve and I was taken in by the Danvers family. I hid my powers until a few years ago when a plane almost crashed and I was forced to reveal myself. Alex was on the plane. And I've been Supergirl ever since." 

"And your cousin's name is?" Lena asked further. This was the first real question though Lena had done the math and already knew the answer. 

"Cal El," Kara said. 

"Clark Kent," the brunette said, making sure the blonde knew she had figured it out. 

Kara struggled to agree. That secret was hard to tell anyone so she was hesitant to answer. "Yes." 

"What's your real name?" Lena inquired. 

"Kara Zor-El" she stated with her head high. 

"Zor-El," she tried it on her tongue. It sounded powerful. She liked it. "Alright. Well it seems to be working," she stated regarding the Truth-Seeker. She would start easy and then get to the harder questions she figured. Though no question was that easy, she knew. "The first time we met you placed your finger on my alien detection device and it didn't detect you. How?" That question wasn't important but it was the first that came to mind since she tried to think of anything since she had first met her. And as she ran through that memory, it bothered her that the device had a flaw and she hadn't noticed. Part of her strong denial of Kara's identity was backed by all these little details. 

"I laser beamed it when you turned around," she confessed. 

"Oh, okay. It wasn't a defect from my side then," Lena said in slight relief. 

"No, it wasn't," she agreed in shyness. 

"So I guess you didn't fly to my office on a bus, and you weren't really getting coffee that one time with Kara, and I suppose I now know what your Kryptonite is." Those weren't questions but she needed to get them out of her system. Kara also noticed the lack of questions and simply shied away again, then nodded.

Now, the harder questions. "Did you blame me for Monel leaving after the led dispersal bomb?" That was a quick transition she thought to herself. It was almost like she had another version of the Truth-Seeker, making her ask what she really wanted to but didn't think she'd have to courage to. There were a lot of things with the Mon-El situation that were messy but this question was really the most important one. Though she had been jealous of him that did not mean she was overjoyed to have been the reason he had to leave because that hurt Kara. 

"No, it had to be done. You saved everyone," the blonde stated with conviction. 

Another sigh of relief. A much more fulfilling one. Then Lena thought some more. "When Reign first appeared, Supergirl disappeared but I visited you and you were in your apartment with the flu supposedly. How did you manage that?" Equally important to ask. Kara had gone through quite a few tricks to stop Lena from finding out. But how had she pulled them off?

"Jonn went in as me so you wouldn't find out. Whatever he did, I am not to blame," she joked, forgetting for a second why she was there. 

Lena smiled at the corner of her mouth. “You were really off", she added before she recalled another thing. “That dream I had when I was poisoned and you were carrying me and flying. It wasn't a dream, was it?"

"No, I flew you to the DEO for treatment. I didn't have time to change into Supergirl's outfit." 

She thought of that for a moment. "That was risky."

"It was worth it. Your life was at stake." 

Lena swallowed. That was a good answer. Again, she felt important to her. That kind of thing made her emotional so she changed the subject. "Allura is your real mother then?" 

"Yes. For so long I thought she was dead but then she turned out to be alive on Argo. Your Harun-el formula keeps her and the entire city alive. Thank you for that." She said sincerely.

"You're welcome," Lena said, raising her chin slightly. 

Fumbling through her memories she thought of something else. "Now I know why you were so distressed and wanted to split up when Mercy Graves broke into L Corp. I thought you were afraid but that wasn't it was it?"

"No, I wanted to change but you were convinced Kara was safest with you. Even when you were up against Mercy herself. Which was incredibly frustrating by the way". 

They both chuckled in a moment of brief relief. It was funny to think of Kara freaking out at not being to save Lena. “But you handled yourself pretty well,” Kara added. She hadn’t needed to say that but Lena appreciated Kara letting her know that she didn’t think of her as a damsel in distress.

The smile left Lena’s lip now. "Do you trust me?" She asked at last.

"Yes," Kara answered rapidly, then went on slower," I've made mistakes, I've done things I regret that have made you think otherwise but I've realized that I was wrong to ever doubt you, so I do trust you, completely, with my life."

Lena looked at her. She wanted to believe her and it was so easy to. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She asked, teary eyed and ready to burst, heart evidently broken. This one, this one was damn hard. She wasn't sure she was ready for the answer but she asked anyway.

Kara looked down, took a breath then looked back at the brunette. "Lena, I…" she stopped. "I want to tell you that it was to protect you and it was at first. Well, at the very beginning I didn't know you of course but after I did, I couldn't just tell you because my secret endangers anyone who knows it. But then… it became about something else."

Lena listened intently, she swallowed.

"You became the only person I could be… human around. And I know how that sounds. It's just everyone thinks of me as the girl of steel, the one that never breaks, but… I can break. And you believed in me, not just as Supergirl, you believed in Kara Danvers. I didn't have to have superpowers around you. I could be normal and flawed and I could break but in the end Kara the reporter was still your hero. And to be Supergirl I need to be Kara. I need to have part of me grounded and normal. There is no Supergirl without Kara Danvers and you became the only person keeping that part of me separate from the other. The only one thinking that my reporting was just as important as what Supergirl did." Kara looked at Lena and then away. "I know how selfish that is. I know that after everything you've done for me, I could have told you but I didn't want the last person who I could feel human around to suddenly only see me as Supergirl.” She looked back at her. Kara knew she had the truth-seeker on her but it was important to make eye contact so Lena could see the sincerity in her eyes. “And then every time I was so close to telling you, something got in the way. You'd mention how much you trusted me and how you couldn't take someone lying to you and betraying you and then I couldn't tell you. And then my own actions as Supergirl hurt you and I know that. And I couldn't be another person that had done that to you. I didn't want to hurt you more because you don't deserve that. You've been an amazing friend and I've… I've ruined it and I'll never forgive myself if you don't. I am so sorry Lena." 

Lena stood there, listening. She tried to keep an enigmatic look on her face but she wasn't sure she had done it. She was more sure that all the pain was coming through. She turned around and fumbled with her lab equipment to hide her face. "Do you really have no memory or sensation of the other you?" She asked, putting aside the pain of all the feelings about what Kara had just said. This question was basically ‘do you have feelings for me?’ But she couldn’t ask directly. Either way, if the answer was no, then at least she couldn't be any more heartbroken at this point. 

"Did something happen while you all thought I was Red Daughter? Did she do something?" Kara asked. Kara could tell Lena was hung up on something. 

Lena shook her head. 

"Lena, what did she do?" Kara asked sternly. 

"It's… not important," the brunette lied. 

"Yes it is, what did she do?" Kara stood from the chair. 

Lena picked a shot from the table to sedate the creature then moved towards Kara to remove it from her arm. "Really, it was nothing," Lena insisted. 

"It must have been something. I can see it in your eyes. What was it?" Kara tilted her head sideways looking for Lena's eyes. She reached her arm out to the brunette's, touching it gently. "Please. What did she do?" She asked softer this time, as Kara would rather than Supergirl. 

Lena looked up. She hated that now all the things that made her weak from Kara and Supergirl were joined in one. She couldn't handle it all being from one person. It made her so damn foolish and weak for her. But if Kara wanted to know so badly then she'd show her. 

Lena reached for Kara's face and cupped her jaw, then moved closer. She approached the blonde and then put their lips together in one smooth motion. Her other hand gripped at the medical gun though she wanted to put her hand on Kara's hip. Then for accuracy's sake, she kissed her again after a short intake of breath. And then once more, she joined their lips as Red Daughter had done with her. 

She pulled away, feeling their lips part slowly. She spent a second recovering, then she grounded herself again. She used the gun on the creature to weaken it, pulled it from Kara's arm and put it back in its container. 

"That's what she did," she said and looked directly at Kara afterwards. "I've asked everything I wanted to so you can leave now. I have to get to work anyway. I have a company to run. Several actually. So you can see yourself out." 

She hadn't meant to be that cold but none of this was easy. Kara hadn't even answered the last question but to Lena, it had been an answer and it was a no. She didn't feel the same. Her chest began to feel tight. Her breathing shallow, and her eyes burning from all the tears she was holding back. Her heart was completely broken and the one person that could have put it back was the same one that had broken it. 

She waited as she gave Kara her back. The tears started down her cheeks but the blonde couldn't see, and as instructed, she reluctantly flew out and left. 

******* 

"And then Lena kissed me," Kara stated.

"What? Like, on the lips?" Alex asked, in surprise. Dropping the pizza from her hand. 

"Yeah, like on the lips." Kara detailed. 

"And, how did it feel?" Alex asked as she offered Kara a piece but the blonde rejected it.

"It felt…" she closed her eyes as she remembered. "I don't know," she said after a while. 

"You don't know?" Alex said in disbelief. "How can you not know? Was it good or was it bad? Do you want to do it again or never again?"

"I don't know Alex. Everything's so confusing. I didn't even know Lena felt something for me. And then she just kisses me in the middle of everything. And then she asked me to leave"

"Well she's probably hurt but that doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't like you anymore and for the record, I had a feeling Lena had a crush on you but I didn't know for sure about any of your feelings so I said nothing." 

"Alex!" Kara exclaimed. 

"I'm sorry!" Alex shrugged. "I thought you were straight. Why would I bother saying something? And maybe Lena just didn't know the difference between friends and lovers cuz she's literally never had friends."

Kara put her forehead on the table at her apartment. "Oh Rao." 

"You really don't know how you feel?" Alex asked as she rubbed Kara's head. 

Kara shook it while still placed on the table. 

"If only there was a way to know the truth and how you really felt deep down," Alex thought out loud. 

Kara lifted her head. "There is, I think." 

Alex lifted a brow. 

****

Her phone vibrated and she checked on it. She kept hoping it was Kara and at the same time hoping it wasn't. Gosh she hated feeling things. It was so confusing. 

She sighed. 

Boxes. Put it into boxes.

She sighed again. That wasn't working any more.

Suddenly, her laptop warned about movement in her lab. She entered the security feed only to see Supergirl… Kara and Alex inside. 

Unbelievable. If this was another stunt at checking her lab because they didn't trust her she was going to lose it. She watched as Kara broke her safe and walked inside. What the hell! She turned the sound on. 

"Lena's going to be really mad, at both of us," Alex noted. 

"I know, thanks for coming with me. I wasn't sure asking myself the questions would work." Kara spoke as she walked inside and brought the Truth-Seeker out. "I'm hoping she'll forgive me for this too. At least I'll be able to give her a clear answer and I'll know myself. And if she doesn't forgive me well… I don't know what I'll do."

"Don't think about that. Lena has a big heart. She just needs time," Alex reassured her.

"I hope so," Kara spoke as she held the container. "Ready?" 

"Whenever you are," Alex said with a nod. 

Kara opened the container and let the creature take hold of her. Then she sat down. 

"Okay, here we go," Alex said. 

Lena watched from her office, baffled. What did Kara want to know that she couldn't just say. Did she want to know something but didn't know she knew it? What was so important that she'd break into her lab, knowing how she felt about that. 

Kara waited. She looked at Alex and widened her eyes. "Well?"

"Do I just ask it directly? No easy questions first?" Alex asked. 

"I don't know," Kara said. 

"Did you use my black shirt with the sparkles in 9th grade and ripped a hole in it?" Alex asked. 

"Yes," Kara confessed reluctantly. 

"I knew it!" Alex practically screamed. 

"Okay okay, I'm sorry about that. Can you ask me what we came to find out now?" Kara said. 

"Okay," Alex breathed out. She was equally nervous about this. "Do you have feelings for Lena?"

Lena stood from her seat. This was why? She was trying to find out if she felt something for her?

There was silence. Kara opened her mouth. "I … don't know," Kara answered. She sighed and so did Alex. 

"I guess it doesn't know what you don't know either," Alex stated. 

Lena sat back down. Kara didn't know. She sighed. Damn it. 

"We should go before someone finds us," Alex said. 

"I think I need to talk to her," Kara looked up. 

"Okay. Call me if you need anything," said her sister and then left. 

Lena turned the screen off and sat down. 

Her new assistant walked in. " Supergirl is here to see you. She says she broke into your lab to borrow something."

"Let her in. Thank you."

She heard the sound of her boots as she stepped in her office in her skirt. 

"You have some nerve," Lena started off. 

"I'm sorry I broke in. It was… important," Kara said. 

"Oh really? Like the time you had James break in?" She spoke harshly. She was being resentful but a broken heart did that. 

"It was more important actually. I know I shouldn't have but I needed an answer to a question," Kara explained.

"And what question was that?" Lena asked. 

Kara didn't answer. "Are you okay?" She asked instead. 

"I'm fine. Never better. My brother is dead, my best friend betrayed me, the world almost ended, then I thought you kissed me and went off and died, and then you break into my lab, asking me if I'm okay," Lena rambled through, losing her breath. 

"I guess that means you don't forgive me," Kara spoke with difficulty, "but that doesn't matter because I'll still be here, no matter what. I'll still always support you. I want you to know that."

"Don't bother," Lena lashed out. "No need to save me. It's not worth it. Once a Luthor always a Luthor.” Lena said that because she meant it. Luthors had no hope. Either no one could really truly love them completely for who they were or they couldn’t love them back. James and Jack had loved her but she didn’t love them back the same way, and Kara didn’t love her back like she wanted. 

Kara pursed her lips. She wasn't going to leave letting Lena think that she was not worth it. Lena needed to know how important she was, how incredible she was and how much worth saving. "You are still good, you are still worth saving. You always have been. Who else would try to cure cancer, who else is gonna save the world from an alien invasion, who else is going to care for so many children here, who will save the girl of steel over and over. I’m as dependant on you coming to my rescue as everyone else is on me actually. You Lena, are a hero. Even if this city didn't have me, they'd still have you, Lena Luthor, National City's real hero. And you deserve to know that, you deserve to be l–" she cut herself off. 

Lena stood quietly. "I deserve what?" Her eyes were glistening. She was trying to slow her breathing so her heart didn't give her away. 

Kara stood there not saying a thing. It hurt her so much to see Lena like this, and all she wanted to do was hug her and make it go away. And she kept thinking of the kiss, over and over in her head. And she felt herself start to focus on Lena, on her different features. In seconds, Kara couldn't help but notice all of Lena, her piercing eyes, her perfect eyebrows, her adorable ears, her cute nose, her silky black hair, her beautiful red lips. It was all hitting her at once. Her own heart began racing. She didn't know how she hadn't known before. Kara knew what love was. She'd been in love before. She knew how the butterflies felt and she knew how ardent the feelings were. She knew how passionate she got about it. And she knew how she felt about her friends. And this wasn't it. This was how she felt when she was in love. Of course it was. And this was even so much stronger than any other time. And the moment she admitted it to herself, she got the desire to touch Lena, kiss her, and tell her that she loved her. She felt like if she kissed her she could make her feel alright and that's all she wanted. She wanted Lena to know how she felt. She wasn't going to be like every other person in her life that didn't tell her how much she loved her and how much she meant to her. She was going to tell her now and every time she had the chance. She wanted to be the person to give her the happiness she deserved, she wanted to make her happy by taking care of her, by loving her, by protecting and defending her. By doing all the things Lena never had from someone else. It had to be her to do it. No one else could do it like she could. 

"Are you going to say something," Lena asked, still enraged, but only in appearance. 

Kara flew directly at her and stopped just short of touching Lena's body. "I just realized how I feel". 

Lena went quiet. "And how do you feel?"

Kara grabbed her by the neck and pressed their lips together. She kissed her deeply and passionately and didn't stop until she felt like she had answered the question with this gesture. And Kara could feel everything. She could feel the tiny hairs on Lena’s skin on her neck, she could feel her heart beating fast, she could hear her breathing, she could taste her lips and feel the heat. Kara pulled away slightly, put her forehead against Lena's. "You deserve to be loved. I want you to be loved, by me. I'm in love with you. Even if you hate me, even if you don't forgive me. I know how I feel now."

A tear fell down Lena's eye. "I do forgive you," she confessed. "I forgave you long ago."

"I'm scared." Kara whispered. "I don't want to keep messing this up. I never want to break your heart again. "

"I'm scared too, Kara Zor-El," Lena replied. "I've never felt this way about someone. I've never had a friend and partner in one. Promise me you'll–"

Kara interrupted her, "I promise I'll love you right. I promise I'll never break your heart again and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to fix it. I'll make sure you know that you're loved. And I'll love you like no one ever has. I want you to feel how much I love you and know it." All her feelings were pouring out. Easily. She didn't know it could be like this. 

Lena smiled and opened her eyes. Those words meant more than she could ever express. She released a quick breath of relief. 

"Well if you keep your promise," Lena began as Kara opened her eyes, "we'll get through it, through anything, always. Now kiss me for the love of Rao."

Kara smiled and they both leaned in. She put her hands back on Lena. She ran the fingers of her left hand through Lena's silky black hair and pulled her closer from her waist with her right. 

Lena cupped her face and kissed her deeply, over and over and over. She had no need to stop. She didn't want to either. And Kara was kissing her back, no inhibitions, pushing against her body. Lena moaned softly into the kiss and Kara moaned back at it and pushed Lena into the wall behind her. They tasted each other's tongues and it wasn't long before Kara's hands moved to Lena's legs and lift her up. The brunette gladly wrapped her legs around the blonde. 

Kara pulled away, her breathing heavy from the heat. She wanted Lena, all of her, now. "I want to make love to you."

Lena blushed and then smiled confidently, "Well then, you know the way to my house. I’ll lead the way to my room. It's time you learned what doors are for."

Kara smiled and placed her forehead on the brunette's. 

Lena couldn't wait to get home. To take that cape off, to feel Kara's skin as she traced her fingers on it, to taste her neck as she bit into it, to feel her strong muscular figure. She couldn't wait to feel Kara's lips pressed against her own skin, her blonde hair following the way and brushing the skin where her lips had been, she couldn't wait to hear Kara moan and to moan right back, and she couldn't wait for what came after. 

She worried for a second that Kara wouldn't be able to enjoy herself, having to keep her powers in check. 

"Let's make a stop at my lab first," Lena said. "I have some red sun lamps that might come to good use. If that's okay with you."

Kara kissed her. ”We’ll talk about why you have those later but for now, I do love feeling normal with you. Any other requests?"

Lena smiled wide. 

"Tell me you love me again." 

"I love you Lena Kieran Luthor. Now and always." 

"Let's go home," said Lena as she wrapped her arms around Kara's neck and prepped for take off. 

Kara gently rose from the ground and gracefully floated out the window to Lena's apartment. There was no hurry. They could deal with everything they still had to deal with later. For now, being loved was enough and this time Lena felt like this kind of love would stick around. Always. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I really really suck at tagging so I’ll take suggestions for making my tags more relevant and helpful to any possible readers. Thanks!


End file.
